Martin Messier

June 5, 2023

NLP Jedi Mind Trick Story

I'm going to tell you a story about getting stopped by a cop.

It's an example of how you practice in the real world.

It's also a fantastic example of using NLP mind tricks with absolute integrity and without manipulating others.

Let's get to it. Once upon a time...

About 12 years ago, I was going through my NLP Practitioner certification with Rex Sikes.

I was still struggling to master NLP and understand how to structure my conversation and interrupt patterns.

One night, after leaving the NLP Practitioner training at some 11pm hours of the night, I was breezing through Wisconsin in-roads at top speed.

The organic farm I stayed at was about 30-40 minutes away from the training center. Needless to say, I was eager to get to sleep and I was coasting away at over 75 mph.

Eventually, blue and red lights started flashing in my rear-view mirror.

A cop.

S@&t!

Suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind.

The cop got out of his car and came to my window. As soon as he said: “Good evening...” I looked back in his eyes and said with the biggest smile in the world: “Good evening officer!!!! It’s so great to see you!!!!”

Immediately, you could see his eyes start spinning as his brain went into massive confusion.

Pattern interrupt at its best.

He said: “Do you know you’re doing 75mph in a 55mph zone?”

I replied: “Officer, I’m totally wrong about what I’m doing and I know everybody gives you such a hard time about what you do. You’re so right. Thank you for making sure Wisconsin roads are safe. I absolutely deserve this ticket.”

I held out my hand so as to receive a ticket.

Now, he was really confused.

He asked: “Is everything OK? Why are you so happy?”

I said: “Sir, I’m going through a personal excellence course right now. It's helping me discover incredible qualities in myself that I didn’t know about before. And I guess that’s why I’m a little overexcited and speeding. But that’s no excuse. I am compromising the safety here and you can write me up.”

He looked at me and said: “You know what... I’ll just let you go with a warning. But be a little more careful.”

I said: “You bet, officer. Thank you so much and have a great night!”

And there you go.

That’s what a beginner can do with good intentions and nothing to hide. Massive pattern interrupt. Massive confusion.

And here’s the best part: no deception whatsoever.

You see, when you learn NLP with integrity, there’s no need for slimy, deceptive tactics. You just stand right in the open, make others feel good and get what you want.

police I figured I’d tell you a story today.

It’s a short story about getting stopped by a cop.

It’s an example of how you practice in the real world.

It’s also a fantastic example of using NLP mind tricks with absolute integrity and without manipulating others.

Let’s get to it. Once upon a time…

About 12 years ago, I was going through my NLP Practitioner certification with Rex Sikes.

I was still struggling to master NLP and understand how to structure my conversation and interrupt patterns.

One night, after leaving the NLP Practitioner training at some 11pm hours of the night, I was breezing through Wisconsin in-roads at top speed.

The organic farm I stayed at was about 30-40 minutes away from the training center. Needless to say, I was eager to get to sleep and I was coasting away at over 75 mph.

Eventually, blue and red lights started flashing in my rear-view mirror.

A cop.

S@&t!

Suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind.

The cop got out of his car and came to my window. As soon as he said: “Good evening…” I looked back in his eyes and said with the biggest smile in the world: “Good evening officer!!!! It’s so great to see you!!!!”

Immediately, you could see his eyes start spinning as his brain went into massive confusion.

Pattern interrupt at its best.

He said: “Do you know you’re doing 75mph in a 55mph zone?”

I held out my hand so as to receive a ticket.

Now, he was really confused.

He asked: “Is everything OK? Why are you so happy?”

I said: “Sir, I’m going through a personal excellence course right now. It’s helping me discover incredible qualities in myself that I didn’t know about before. And I guess that’s why I’m a little overexcited and speeding. But that’s no excuse. I am compromising the safety here and you can write me up.”

He looked at me and said: “You know what… I’ll just let you go with a warning. But be a little more careful.”

I said: “You bet, officer. Thank you so much and have a great night!”

And there you go.

That’s what a beginner can do with good intentions and nothing to hide. Massive pattern interrupt. Massive confusion.

And here’s the best part: no deception whatsoever.

You see, when you learn NLP with integrity, there’s no need for slimy, deceptive tactics. You just stand right in the open, make others feel good and get what you want.

Martin Messier

May 22, 2023

Photographic Memory: An Easy Technique That Works

Here's a strategy I recently learned from a buddy of mine of how to train and develop your photographic memory. He tells me this system is used by army officers and soldiers to train in observation skills and their own photographic memory. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to confirm this fact anywhere on the internet.

Follow these instructions to the letter. Practice every day and you'll get results within 30 days. As you become more proficient in the skill, you will find that you apply it constantly in your daily life.

Tools you will need

A desk lamp
A black sheet of paper
A document or book you want to memorize

Instructions

1. Set some time to practice. 10-15 minutes will be ideal.

2. Find a quiet place in your living quarters. You have to be able to make it dark. If you have blackout curtains in your room, use them. A closet can also serve you well. Take your desk lamp into that room and plug it into an outlet.

3. Cut out a rectangular hole in your black sheet of paper. Make it about the size of a paragraph.

4. Place the black sheet over the book or document. Put the hole over the text you want to memorize.

5. Calibrate the distance between your eyes and the document. Put it at a distance where your eyes can focus instantly on the writing.

6. Turn off all lights. Your eyes will begin to adjust to the dark. You will notice a certain "phantom light" as they become familiar with the new light settings.

7. Turn on the lamp for a split second and turn it off.

8. Your eyes will have photographed the exposed paragraph in the document of book. Pay attention to that picture. When it completely fades out, turn on the lamp again for a split second and turn it back off. Remember to continuously focus on the document.

9. Do this repeatedly until you can recite the entire paragraph without making mistakes. Eventually, you will see it in your mind's eye, as a picture, and you will be able to read off of it easily.

When you associate the practice of this technique with the principles you read below, you will find all your other skills improve rapidly.

How does memory work?

It all starts with sensation and perception, i.e., when your brain encodes sensory information. Your biological sense pick up information and encode it neurologically.

Take for instance the memory of your childhood home. Your nervous system registered its characteristics, such as its size, its color, its smell and the habitual sounds that played around it.

Each of these stimuli is what I refer to as a "sensation."

All of these sensations are packaged up into what I refer to as a "perception". This happens in the hippocampus. It then labels that perception into a concept such as "my house". I refer to that process as "conception".

Once the information is encoded as a concept, your nervous system stores it permanently.

Electricity and chemistry

This information is encoded and stored electrically and chemically. When you need to retrieve a piece of information — whether it's a sensation, a perception or a concept — your nervous cells communicate with one another.

To do that, they must bridge a space between them. We call that space a "synapse".

All the communication that takes place in your brain happens in those synaptic gaps. Electrical signals that move the information jump from cell to cell.

As these signals move, your brain releases chemical carriers named "neurotransmitters." These chemicals spread across these cells and bind to them. Each neuron can create thousands of these binds. An average brain has over 100 trillion synapses.

Neural networks

Neurons operate in networks. They group themselves based on the way they process information.

While they connect to one another using the process described above, these binds aren't eternal. They are flexible. If a neuron sends a message to another neuron more than once, the synapse between them becomes more robust to optimize the communication channel.

The more you learn, the more you absorb and encode information from the world around you, the more changes happen in your neurology. As these changes takes place, more and more neurons connect and interact.

This means that sophisticated information and memory routes are created, developed, maintained and modified continuously.

The power of muscle memory

The more an basketball player shoots free throws, the more his or her nervous will strengthen the neural circuit associated with that action. Eventually, without thinking, a player can shoot a perfect free throw and make it because the memory of the perfect shot is so perfectly encoded in their neurology.

For instance, watch basketball great Michael Jordan make a free throw with his eyes closed (in an offical game):

You can use this exact same framework for cognitive memory.

If you are working on memorizing your class notes for a test, all you have to do is review them consistently review them. Very quickly, you'll notice you're capable of remembering the information without breaking a sweat.

Once the test is over and you ace it, if you stop reviewing these notes, your neurons will ease their connection. In time, the memory will fade, making those neurological resources available for other tasks. In short, that's how you forget.

Key takeaway: repeat consistently

At its most basic, the key lesson to developing your photographic memory is this: repeat consistently.

After all, photographic memory is simply a skill as any other. The more you practice it, the more it develops. If you practice it consistently, you will amaze yourself at how fast you're able to capture, encode and recall information.

Martin Messier

May 18, 2023

10 Indicators That You’re Learning NLP Effectively

If you're new to the field of Neurolinguistic Programming, you perhaps feel overwhelmed with the sheer amount of information, models, patterns and descriptions available online.

Learning NLP becomes a lot easier when you're able to measure your progress. In this article, you will discover 10 indicators that you're making progress in your journey. These will serve as flag posts by which you can evaluate how you're doing.

Here's what you'll be able to accomplish as you move forward in learning NLP.

1. You will understand how people build their model of the world

This indicator should be #1, #2, #3, etc. We could use it for the whole list. The reason why so many students find it difficult to learn and apply the Meta Model attests to our failure as teachers to get this particular piece handled (Here's the solution).

Learning NLP's operational epistemology will enable you to map ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING (skills, patterns, models) to it. Rep systems, swish patterns, language patterns, the whole bit. You will be able to dissect any intervention and point to the pieces of the model that it affects.

You will also have mastered all the jargon, all the way from modalities to meta-states, and you'll understand specifically what they are pointing to.

As a result, you will be able to create any pattern you need on the fly, because you will understand how to target portions of your client's model of the world.

2. You will have sharpened your sensory acuity

I know I keep beating you over the head with it, but the cornerstone skill of NLP involves sharpening your senses. While 90% of the students want to know what to say, you should be interested in what to listen to. While everyone is stuck in their own head, you'll be in uptime, paying constant attention to the world around you.

Do not underestimate the edge you will gain from this.

3. You will be able to calibrate effectively

As you sharpen your sensory acuity, you will begin detecting and recognizing patterns more effectively. You will be able to recognize the facial movements, gestures, postural changes, eye position and other cues associated to specific thought patterns. This will enable you to track your clients' train of thought and states by observing their physiology.

As you progress in your practice, you will become as close to a mind reader as you can get. I've witnessed my dear master Rex Sikes this first hand doing this, and it is mind-blowing. I haven't had the privilege of training with Eric Robbie yet, but from what I understand he is a MASTER calibrator.

Pay attention. Make connections. As above, so below. As inside, so outside.

4. You will understand rapport and how to build it

Rapport is not necessarily, as many think, a relationship of trust. It is a relationship of responsiveness. It also involves a physical feeling you get as you establish it.

As you progress, your understanding of rapport will become more and more subtle. You will know how to build it and whether you have it.

5. You will be able to figure out what makes someone tick

Indicator #1 shows your progress in mastering the toolkit and jargon of NLP modeling. This one is about your ability to figure people out.

You will know how to elicit your client's model of the world and explicitly map it out on paper (or computer, if you prefer). You will be able to link all the pieces responsible for his behavior and states. You will understand what drives and motivates them. You will also understand how they create meaning in their experience.

6. You will ask devastatingly effective questions

This indicator is obviously tied to indicator #5. Once you understand the components of a Model of the World, you will be able to ask surgical questions to retrieve the pieces you need to map out the model.

Eventually, you will even be able to ask questions that cause your client to alter her model by herself.

7. You will use language precisely to achieve specific objectives

Once again, a direct tie to indicator #5. You will be able to craft your language so that it provokes the effect you intend in your client. Vague when appropriate, specific when needed. Everything at the right time.

8. You will be able to make changes to someone's map of the world

This indicator packages indicators #5, 6 and 7. Once you know how to elicit the map, ask questions and use language precisely, you will be able to help your clients alter their model of the world.

This particular indicator also involves you setting clear and definite ethical boundaries for yourself. Not all interventions are ethical interventions. You must know where you set your limits so you can always act in the best interest of those in your care.

9. You will be able to acquire someone else's skills

This happens once you master NLP modeling. I've written extensively about it on this blog. It's a skill not to be taken lightly, and to be practiced rigorously and thoroughly.

Definitely read carefully all of John Grinder's books if you want to get into modeling. It's imperative for your safety.

10. You will be able to teach someone else a skill you have acquired

This indicator is obviously tied to indicators #1 and 9. You will know how to assimilate a skills and you will have the code available to transcribe it and transmit it.

In other words, you will be able to raise the level of everybody's game.

Learning NLP is a full-contact sport

What I'm sharing with you here is my own road map. I still have a lot to do to get to the level I wish to attain. What matters most is constantly moving forward on all of these flag posts.

Remember, these indicators are not on/off switches. They are more like analogue sliders, gauges that go from 1 to 10. They do not represent "can" or "can't," but rather "how far up on the continuum do you find yourself right now?"

Learning NLP is full-contact sport. All the indicators inevitably bring us back to my constant mantra: practice, practice, practice.

Martin Messier

May 17, 2023

NLP Q&A: A hard time understanding NLP

Chris contacted me yesterday with a series of questions that I'm sure resonates with many other readers. I'll reprint our email exchange without edits here for everyone's benefit (with Chris's authorization, of course). I think you'll find the raw dialogue much juicier than if I cleaned it up.

To make reading easier, Chris's questions will all be printed in italics. My answers will be in standard print. Let's go!

Chris: language constructs and manipulation

Hi Martin,
I hope you'll forgive the intrusion. I'm still having a hard time understanding what NLP actually is.
I read about modelling which makes sense on the surface- identify someone that consistently delivers the results you want and learn the processes that they go through to get the results, filtering the parts that aren't relevant. Am I wrong so far?
But then I also see a seemingly unrelated component of using language constructs to some purpose or another. I'm not really sure what to make of that part or how it is related. I've seen bits about using it to direct the subconscious mind in some way or another, but if done on someone else in day-to-day life, I'm not sure how that doesn't qualify as manipulation.
Honestly, I started looking into NLP when I saw some mention but some conspiracist that President Obama uses NLP techniques in his speeches to achieve some particular result. I found this interesting (and/or shocking... and/or hard to believe) but that's how I got here.
I don't want to waste your time, but is there anything you might point me to that would help me better understand what NLP is and what it is about? I've read the wikipedia articles but I'm still not clear.

Martin: NLP vs Hypnosis

Hi Chris,

Great to hear from you. No intrusion at all, I'm here to help.

You wouldn't believe how often readers ask me questions like the ones you ask. The field has been littered with so much garbage that new students find it challenging to navigate.

You wrote: "I read about modelling which makes sense on the surface- identify someone that consistently delivers the results you want and learn the processes that they go through to get the results, filtering the parts that aren't relevant. Am I wrong so far?"

You're dead on. This is really the heart of NLP. The few who master this are the ones who create amazing lives. Tony Robbins is a perfect example of that (although many practitioners and trainers poo poo him constantly).

You wrote: "But then I also see a seemingly unrelated component of using language constructs to some purpose or another. I'm not really sure what to make of that part or how it is related. I've seen bits about using it to direct the subconscious mind in some way or another, but if done on someone else in day-to-day life, I'm not sure how that doesn't qualify as manipulation."

This is where the confusion sets in. What I'm about to share with you is my own understanding. Many NLPers would disagree with me, but my students generally prefer my approach.

Let's go back to the first part you brought up -- modeling excellence. Basically, at the onset of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder modeled the best therapists in the world: Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and *blink, blink, blink* MILTON ERICKSON, one of the greatest hypnotist who ever lived.

Milton was an ace at using language to induce therapeutic responses from his patients. The legacy of modeling his language patterns is what you write about above. It's that "seemingly unrelated component of using language constructs." Students of those modeled patterns decided to apply them to other areas besides therapy. Notably, sales, negotiation and seduction.

Here's my approach: that's not NLP. That's applied hypnosis. These patterns are somewhat like the Force in Star Wars: applied ethically, they transform lives; applied with only selfish interest in mind, they turn into cheap manipulation. So, in my book, that's a misuse of the term "NLP."

You wrote: "Honestly, I started looking into NLP when I saw some mention but some conspiracist that President Obama uses NLP techniques in his speeches to achieve some particular result. I found this interesting (and/or shocking... and/or hard to believe) but that's how I got here."

Once again, misuse of the term NLP. Obama probably uses techniques such as anchoring and language patterns. These, of course, are techniques borrowed from Milton Erickson.

So let's get to your question: what is NLP?

I've written extensively about it on my site. If you will, I'll point you to specific pages so you can dig in a bit more:

NLP 101
What Is The Difference Between NLP and Hypnosis?

Take a look. If you have any question whatsoever, let me know. NLP transformed my life. I'm committed to helping others understand it accurately so they can obtain the same benefits.

Chris: why LINGUISTIC?

Hi Martin,
Thanks for the clarification. I'll read the articles you cited.
The confusing part comes from the LINGUISTIC component of the name. If NLP is fundamentally about modelling, codifying, and then teaching the model, why is LINGUISTIC so prominently featured in the name? It seems to suggest the hypnosis/trance elements as being a fundamental rather than just one application.
Am I missing it?

Martin: operational epistemology

Hi Chris,

You asked: "If NLP is fundamentally about modelling, codifying, and then teaching the model, why is LINGUISTIC so prominently featured in the name?"

The linguistic piece refers to the operational epistemology of the field (I write more about this in the articles). "Neurolinguistic" refers to how we sense the world and encode it in our nervous system (in language). Language is how we encode and manipulate our experiences. "Programming" refers to the syntax of that code.

NLP, or Neurolinguistic Programming, is one of the worst labels I've ever come across. Frank Pucelik (the third, unknown founder of NLP) states in interviews that he, Bandler and Grinder used to call it "Meta." Potentially equally as ambiguous...

I hope this helps.

Martin Messier

May 16, 2023

NLP Q&A: My Take On Criticism Of NLP

A reader asked me to address some of the criticism expressed on the Wikipedia entry about NLP.

Here are my two cents on a few of the points.

“Preferred representational system” is a bogus notion

The experimental research that does exist was mostly done in the 1980s and 1990s. It consisted of laboratory experimentation testing Bandler and Grinder’s hypotheses that a person’s preferred sensory mode of thinking can be revealed by observing eye movement cues and sensory predicates in language use. A research review conducted by Christopher Sharpley which focused on preferred representational systems, in 1984, followed by another review in 1987 in response to a critique published by Einspruch and Forman, concluded that there was little evidence for its usefulness as an effective counseling tool. Reviewing the literature in 1988, Michael Heap also concluded that objective and fair investigations had shown no support for NLP claims about “preferred representational systems.”

I don’t know if I came in too late to the field. By the time I started studying NLP, no serious trainer talked about this. I personally find this idea of “preferred rep system” bogus. It may have been an attempt to use rep systems as the basis for a typology (similar to Myers-Briggs).

I’m not sufficiently familiar with that research to credit or discredit it. I do, however, disagree with the notion of a “preferred” rep system. Each of us shifts from one representational system to the next according to context. It’s not a fixed preference.

NLP as a strategy for social influence

A research committee working for the United States National Research Council led by Daniel Druckman came to two conclusions. First, the committee “found little if any” evidence to support NLP’s assumptions or to indicate that it is effective as a strategy for social influence. “It assumes that by tracking another’s eye movements and language, an NLP trainer can shape the person’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions (Dilts, 1983). There is no scientific support for these assumptions.” Secondly, the committee members “were impressed with the modeling approach used to develop the technique. The technique was developed from careful observations of the way three master psychotherapists conducted their sessions, emphasizing imitation of verbal and nonverbal behaviors… This then led the committee to take up the topic of expert modeling in the second phase of its work.”(Druckman, 2004) Von Bergen et al. (1997) state that “the most telling commentary on NLP may be that in the latest revision of his text on enhancing human performance, Druckman (Druckman & Bjork 1991) omitted all reference to Neurolinguistic Programming.” According to Gelso and Fassinger (1990) Sharpley’s literature review, marked a decline in empirical research of NLP, and particularly in matching sensory predicates and its use in counsellor-client relationship in counseling psychology.

“[…] The committee “found little if any” evidence to […] indicate that it is effective as a strategy for social influence.” No shit, Sherlock. NLP is not a strategy for social influence. It would be analogous to saying that quantum physics is a strategy to build bridges, or that you can use C++ to change someone’s mind. NLP is just a code you use to map out someone’s model of the world. It also offers a distinct modeling methodology. It’s not a silver bullet that solves everything. Anyone who tries to peddle that idea is full of it.

Next: NLP is not a technique. The text above states “the committee members “were impressed with the modeling approach used to develop the technique. The technique was developed from careful observations of the way three master psychotherapists conducted their sessions, emphasizing imitation of verbal and nonverbal behaviors.”

If you’re calling NLP a technique, you definitely don’t understand the field AT ALL.

Also, it seems a bit superficial to discredit a field just because Dr. Daniel Druckman omitted all references to it in a report. No matter what his credentials are, I sincerely doubt Dr. Druckman’s omniscience. If it’s taken me 15 years of studying NLP to get to the point where I am today, I don’t think someone could understand the field in just a few days or weeks of reviewing it from the outside. It’s like watching a Tibetan monk meditate and telling him that he’s wasting his time.

Empirical vs Phenomenological research

NLP practitioners and academics Tosey and Mathison have argued that the experimental approach is not always appropriate for researching NLP, instead proposing that NLP should be researched phenomenologically. Gareth Roderique-Davies (2009) stated that “Phenomenological research is free from hypotheses, pre-conceptions and assumptions, and seeks to describe rather than explain. Given the claims made by proponents of NLP, this adds little to the credibility debate and would produce reports concerning the experience from the perspective of the individual rather than confirmation of the claimed efficacy. The fact remains that NLP proponents make specific claims about how NLP works and what it can do and this compels providing evidence to substantiate these claims.” He argued that the proposal to conduct phenomenology research using NLP modeling “constitutes an admission that NLP does not have an evidence base and that NLP practitioners are seeking a post-hoc credibility.

Whether the field can be investigated empirically or phenomenologically, I leave those who need that kind of validation to evaluate whether to pursue the field or not. One thing is certain: I get results from it and know many people who also do.

With that said, I just feel that criticisms highlighted on the Wikipedia page effectively discredit a wrong comprehension of the field (and by the way, I have no interest no discuss, argue or prove NLP’s validity with skeptics or others). After you watch a master like Rex Sikes in action, and have the chance to interact with him, you know something is up. That’s what I’m passionately pursuing.

As I wrote on Quora a while back, NLP is just a map. The validity claim for NLP is not “is it true?” but “is it useful?” I have found, and continue to find, it very useful over the years (in the same way I continue to find HTML useful). You may or may not. Only your own experience can give you that answer.

PS: My NLP colleague Mike Bundrant has written an extensive article regarding the Wikipedia page dedicated to NLP. I suggest you read it to get a sobering perspective both on claims made on that page and on Wikipedia as a whole.

Martin Messier

May 15, 2023

Meta Model: Is Your Client Using Vague Nouns?

As a coach, you definitely want to pay attention to everything your client says and does, particularly for Meta Model distinctions. Have you ever heard statements like the following?

"All the problems we are experiencing right now are caused by the rich. The rich always act in selfish ways."
"Employees suck. Everything would just be fine without employees."

When a client describes a problem situation or an obstacle to you, her language may often contain vague nouns such as "men, women, people, Americans, foreigners, employees, customers" and ambiguous pronouns, such as "they, them" and so on.

Of course, she loosely utilizes these terms to refer to specific elements of their model of the world. She placed these elements in their MOW as a result of their experience in life. Unfortunately, they have packed a single experience into generalized ones or abstracted them into a vague pronoun. This can lead to some limitations. If she has had a single bad experience with men and she generalizes that experience to include all men, her relationships with men will suffer.

This language pattern is known in the NLP Meta Model as "unspecified referential index," since it also includes pronouns that have no contextual reference in the model.

You need specifics to reproduce the model

Let's look at a few examples:

Example 1: "Dating experts say I should go approach her, but I don't know if I have the confidence."
Example 2: "Salespeople are manipulative."
Example 3: "I hate watching the national team play. We always lose and it gets me down..."

When listening to your client describe a situation or condition, your goal is to recreate his model. As he describes it to you, you are reproducing it in your own mind or writing it down.

Art student copies painting at the Louvre.

Have you ever seen art students copying masterpieces in museums? Your work as a coach involves a similar craft. As the client reveals his model, you "copy" it.

The statements above, due to their general nature, do not enable you to copy the model accurately. They include generic words that cannot be depicted figuratively on a "painting."

The two sentences at the beginning of this post include the words "the rich" and "employees." The three examples include the words "dating experts," "salespeople" and "we."

The reason you cannot effectively reproduce the model is that you don't know who specifically is being talking about. Which rich person? Which employee? Which dating expert? Which salesperson? And is he part of the national team? The statement is vague.

In each case, that person probably has had one or many experiences with a rich person, employees, dating experts and so on, but has generalized that experience to include all members of the category.

Use Meta Model questions to increase the resolution

Your role is to tease out the specifics of the situation so you can accurately reproduce the model. To do that, ask Meta Model questions that elicit specificity while at the same time maintaining rapport.

"Which rich people are you referring to?"
"What employees are you thinking of when you say that?"
"What dating experts are you getting counsel from?"
"Which salespeople are manipulative?"
"Are you part of the national team?"

Your questions can serve one of two purposes. They can:

draw out more precise and accurate information so you can better reproduce the model, or
challenge your client on his model and force him to expand it.

The difference between the two is subtle and can often be communicated purely using your intonation. You'll become more adept at using one or the other with practice.

In summary: tease out vague nouns

As a coach, always remember the #1 NLP Skill and be attentive to the nouns and pronouns your client uses. Do you really understand what she's referring to? Or are the nouns vague and generalized?

The NLP Meta Model refers to this language pattern as "unspecified referential index."

If the statements are too vague, be sure to elicit more specificity to make sure you are recreating her model of the world accurately. Do this by asking the right questions.

Martin Messier

May 12, 2023

Pattern Interrupt: Redirect Your Thoughts In An Instant

A pattern interrupt involves breaking an individual’s routine, habitual thought or behavioral pattern so as to shake it up.

Sometimes, an existing pattern of behavior will have a particularly “deep groove” and will be solidly conditioned in someone’s system. This can create surprising resistance and interference to the change process.

Instead of tackling this resistance head on, you can use a pattern interrupt to “swipe the legs” of the resistance.

Here’s a simple way to understand a pattern interrupt.

You’re driving to work in the morning. If you’re like me, you always take the same route from home to your office. We’re like monkeys: totally conditioned to repeat tasks in the same way, every time.

The cool thing about this is how economical it is. You don’t really have to think. You put yourself on auto-pilot, head off to Bermuda in your mind, and your unconscious mind takes care of everything for you.

And so you’re cruising along on the way, daydreaming of sun and waves, and snapping your fingers to call the waiter who instantly brings you a…

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!

Right in front of you, a giant tree collapses onto the road, completely obstructing your path. You feel yourself slamming on the brakes and the car comes to a screeching halt as the tires try to grasp to the road.

And for a few minutes, you have absolutely no clue as to what happened or what you’re doing.

Now, your unconscious doesn’t know how to respond. It’s awaiting instructions either from your conscious mind or from someone who’s conscious.

A classic example of a pattern interrupt

Here’s a classic example of a pattern interrupt as described by Milton Erickson in his book Advanced Techniques on Hypnosis and Therapy (1967)

One of the physicians present (at a lecture on hypnosis) was most interested in learning hypnosis, listened attentively during the lecture, but in the social hour preceding the lecture, he had repeatedly manifested hostile aggressive behavior toward most of his colleagues. When introduced to the author, he shook hands with a bone-crushing grip, almost jerked the author off his balance (the man was at least 6 inches taller than the author and about 66 lbs heavier) and aggressively declared without any preamble that he would like to “see any damn fool try to hypnotize me.”

When volunteers for a demonstration were requested, he came striding up and in a booming voice announced “Well, I’m going to show everybody that you can’t hypnotize me.” As the man stepped up on the platform, the author slowly arose from his chair as if to greet him with a handshake. As the volunteer stretched forth his hand prepared to give the author another bone-crushing handshake, the author bent over and tied his own shoe strings slowly, elaborately and left the man standing helplessly with his arm outstretched. Bewildered, confused, completely taken aback at the author’s nonpertinent behavior, at a total loss for something to do, the man was completely vulnerable to the first comprehensible communication fitting to the situation that was offered him. As the second shoe string was being tied the author said “Just take a deep breath, sit down in that chair, close your eyes, and go deeply into a trance.” After a brief casual startled reaction, my subject said “Well I’ll be damned! But how? Now do it again so I can know how you are doing it.”
He was offered a choice of several traditional techniques. He chose the hand- levitation method as seeming the more interesting, and this technique was employed slowly, both for his benefit and that of the audience, with another somnambulistic trance resulting.

Pattern interrupts are really useful in that they shake up a person’s typical thoughts and actions and opens the possibility for something new to take place.

Doing this is an important part of the change process. Obviously, it’s much easier to influence and redirect an unstable pattern than a rigid one.

When a pattern is interrupted completely, the person is left without a next step in their thought process or behavior, and naturally opens up to whatever next step is offered to him or her by the situation.

In other words, the person whose pattern is interrupted becomes highly influenceable.

The power of the pattern interrupt

Our unconscious excels at running patterns or programs automatically. This frees our consciousresources to ponder other matters while we perform certain activities unconsciously.

This sometimes can present a problem when trying to change your own or someone else’s habitual patterns of thought, emotion or behavior. You want to change but your unconscious keeps doing the same thing over and over and over.

What the heck do you do?

Here’s the key principle that allows you to make changes in your behavior:

The unconscious mind isn’t effective at making decisions. That skill belongs to the conscious mind.

And herein lies the power of the pattern interrupt. And this is your opportunity to leverage the Pattern Interrupt NLP Technique.

To force the unconscious mind into “decision-awaiting mode,” you have to send it into a tailspin.

You have to break the habitual flow of how things happen, and force it to get into “what now?” mode.

It’s at the time of the pattern interrupt that you can insert changes into the unconscious’s programming.

When the unconscious is saying to you “OK, what do you want me to do now?

At that point, there’s space for you to insert new instructions.

How to break someone's pattern

In the following video, you’ll watch Derren Brown skillfully interrupting someone’s pattern. This is an exquisite display of embedded suggestions, the handshake interrupt and misdirecting someone’s attention.

What can we learn from Derren’s performance?

1. Establish physical contact early (0:09)

Derren establishes physical contact right away with his “victim.” Notice how he elegantly and quickly touches the man on his counter-side, unconsciously inviting the man to turn towards him and sets him up to be led. Based on the man’s accent, he’s clearly in Britain or Australia, cultures not typically all that physical, which makes it twice as powerful.

2. Immediately begin interrupting the other person’s pattern (0:12)

Watch how Derren rapidly starts distracting his victim by asking a question that takes the man off-guard and pointing in a different direction. Notice in the following seconds how many different times he points away and unconsciously forces the man to respond to his request.

NB: It’s also critical to take note of the bottle he’s holding. That little prop will serve him well in a bit.

3. Break contact to once again interrupt the pattern (0:24)

Derren then breaks away from the man, thereby changing pace and forcing the man to adapt to this new situation. Note how Derren constantly keeps him off-guard, making it impossible for the man to proactively navigate the situation. He constantly has to react to Derren.

4. Point in a totally different direction (0:26)

Now the man gets dizzy. Derren points in the opposite direction he’s been pointing and says: “the tower is over there, isn’t it?” This forces the man to respond and is framed as a tag question, which invites the man to agree with Derren and comply to him.

5. Embed suggestions and deepen trance (0:28)

“You don’t mind me asking, do you?” Once again, a tag question. And paving the way for the request that is to come… “Yeah, you’re happy to help me figure that…” Once again, suggesting that the man is happy to comply with his requests. Note how Derren extends his hand, inviting the man to shake it. Also take note of the back and forth motion he does with his hand, unconsciously suggesting a bond between him and the man.

6. The handshake interrupt (0:34)

Derren extends his hand once again, this time looking down at it to emphasize the handshake. When the man takes his hand to shake it, Derren lets go of it and picks it up with his left hand, totally interrupting the man’s pattern and sending him off deeper into trance. Derren then requests that he hold his water bottle, which he immediately complies with.

7. The Big Request (0:41)

After sending his victim into a trance, Derren proceeds to request his watch and cell phone. “Can I just grab your watch and if you have a cell phone on you, that’d be terrific…” “Can I just grab your… Thanks! I’ll just take that off, allow me… Cheers!” This “cheers” serves as an anchor that he set earlier to reaffirm his bond with the man.

8. Closing the loop (0:55)

Derren starts bringing the man back to the present by pointing back in the direction he originally asked the man about. He takes advantage of that to pick up the man’s wallet. He closes the loop by shaking the man’s hand.

This video really shows a master at work. Watch it as many times as you can as you’ll absorb organically a great number of lessons from it. Heck, try it yourself on the street! You’ll be suprised what happens…

Two drills for you to explore

Drill 1 – Interrupt your own pattern

Choose a behavior you’d like to change that you normally perform automatically, without thinking.
Observe how the pattern runs, what is its route.
Create a pattern interrupt that has nothing to do with the behavior. If you bite your nails, the pattern interrupt might be to jump up and down, or rub your nose intensely. If you eat every time you watch TV, the pattern interrupt might be to think of cow poop every time you open the fridge. Come up with a pattern interrupt that will jolt you like a tree falling in front of your car.
When you notice the pattern running, use your pattern interrupt repeatedly.
Observe what happens to the pattern.

Drill 2 – Interrupt someone else’s pattern

Observe someone who has a habitual pattern that you’d like to play with.
Create a neat pattern interrupt. For instance, if your mother or wife eats butter every morning, without thinking about it, use blue food coloring to change the butter’s color. If your child has been curious about playing with electrical outlets, have some balloons ready at hand; pop them anytime (s)he approaches an outlet.
Observe what happens to the pattern.

Martin Messier

May 11, 2023

How You Can Read People’s Minds (But Not In The Way You Think)

What Are Accessing Cues?

When people are thinking, they demonstrate light and subtle behaviors that help them engage the appropriate sensory representational system. For example, moving their eyes, changing their vocal intonation, physical position, breathing and gestures.

Why is that useful to you (and any other NLP-trained person)?

These behaviors actually help you track which representational system someone is using to express themselves or to respond to you or to a situation. While they don't necessarily reveal "what" the person is thinking, they will certainly help you figure out "how" the person is thinking about it.

Stop for a second a consider any interaction you may have had with people. Can you remember anyone ever:

being almost out of breath;
making noises or onomatopeic sounds;
making faces;
using particular gestures like raising their hands and moving them around;
scratching themselves;

In and of themselves, these behaviors might have no meaning whatsoever. But by calibrating, you can uncover what mental processes are associated with any or all of them for a particular individual.

These physiological changes associated to mental processes, over time, become automated, predictable patterns, outside of conscious awareness. While Richard Bandler and John Grinder uncovered these patterns during the 1970's, the AQAL model Ken Wilber presented in his masterpiece "Sex, Ecology, Spirituality" clearly accounts for the direct and simultaneous correlation between physical and mental processes.

As you practice NLP, you will learn to decode and interpret these automatic behaviors by using calibration. This will allow you to influence others' thought patterns. What follows is a list of patterns coded in NLP that you can use as a learning structure:

1. Kinesthetic mode accessing cues: Head and eyes down, gestures in direction of the body, breathing down in the abdomen, slower speech tempo, deeper voice.

2. Auditory mode accessing cues: Head and eyes leaning to the sides, gestures at ear level, diaphragmatic breathing, speech tempo alternating between faster and slower, varied intonation.

3. Visual mode accessing cues: Head and eyes up, gestures above the shoulders or upward, breathing up in the lungs, eyes semi-closed, high-pitched voice and higher-speeed speech tempo.

Now, let's practice accessing cues

Get together with a practice buddy and follow these instructions. Then, ask your buddy to tell you what happened at each step.

Think of a fun experience you had.
First, focus on the physical feelings associated to that experience.
Now, let go of the feelings.
Second, focus on the images associated to that experience.
Now, let go of the images.
Third, focus on the sounds associated to that experience.
Now, let go of the sounds.

Ask your buddy to take note of what happens to your gestures, posture, breathing, facial expression and tone of voice.

Then, switch roles! Your partner goes through the instructions and you observe and report.

Martin Messier

May 3, 2023

The Difference Between Anchors And Triggers

I want to offer you a little distinction today about conditioning patterns. Specifically, the difference between "anchors" and "triggers."

Right off the bat, it's important to note that what I will offer you now is only a model (yeah, I know you're getting used to me saying this. I'll keep saying it until you're 100% aware of it all the time.). It has no bearing on the truth or the "right" way of explaining the way anchoring works.

I really got interested in the concept when reading Frogs Into Princes. I first understood anchoring to mean that I could control my state or someone else’s state with one specific trigger. Let’s explore its meaning in a bit more depth and distinguish anchors from triggers.

Anchors

Anchors are stimuli that call forth thoughts and feelings.

Have you ever been at home and a car passes in the street with the windows down and stereo blazing a song you know and, all of a sudden, you go back all the way to your school years?

This can happen with a stimulus in any sensory modality (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory or gustatory). Has the smell of fresh bread ever taken you back to your childhood? Has a touch ever brought back memories ? These anchors work involuntarily and you may not even be aware of them.

Whenever you find yourself in an optimal state you wish to return to in the future, choose a unique stimulus (such as grabbing your little finger, or banging your foot twice on the ground) and trigger it repeatedly to really condition it. At a later time, after you’ve changed states, test your anchor and notice how you return to your anchored state.

Likewise, you can apply anchoring to others. Whenever you find someone in a specific state (for instance, laughing out loud), you can anchor it with a specific look or facial expression. Allow them to drift out of that state and then make that facial expression again. Notice what happens.

Triggers

Triggers work similarly to anchors, with one simple difference: they call forth behaviors instead of thoughts or feelings.

For instance, hearing a particular commercial gets you to drive to a fast-food restaurant and eat your favorite meal. Or thinking of a particular situation causes you to bite your nails.

Just like anchors, triggers can be installed purposefully.

How to use them

You’ll hear frequently in NLP that “you cannot not anchor.” That’s how powerful anchoring is in your life. Everything and anything is an anchor.

Right now, reading this article is anchoring your curiosity to learn more about NLP to seeing your computer monitor. Just looking at our computer makes you intensely curious to learn more and master NLP. See your computer, think about NLP. See your computer, think about NLP.

Likewise, triggers are a part of your life and mine.

The real question is: do you know how to use them?

Martin Messier

April 21, 2023

How To Use Covert Hypnosis When It Counts

CAUTION: Use this information responsibly

There are times in your life where you need to get the upper hand.

Perhaps your survival or that of a loved one is at stake.

Or maybe the future of your company and the jobs of all your employees are on the line.

You must get compliance. Period.

Just like pattern interrupts, covert hypnosis is an essential skill in your toolkit.

The easiest way to get the job done is to first get the other party into a trance. From there, you'll be able to steer the situation even more rapidly in the direction that favors you.

Forget about the problem you're facing in that instance. You must first take control of your state so that you can in turn take control of the other person's.

Why use covert hypnosis?

The answer is simple. If you pull out a pendulum or start spinning a spiral in front of the other person's eyes, there's no way in a million years you'll be able to guide them into a trance.

In order to achieve it, you'll have to operate under the radar. That way, you'll be able to gain their compliance faster, more elegantly, following the normal course of conversation.

Once you learn how to use covert hypnosis, you have in your hand a communication tool you can use as needed to gain compliance.

In the following section, I'm going to explain what you need to know to hypnotize anyone, anytime without them realizing what's happening.

How to hypnotize anyone covertly

You'd be amazed at how simple it is to actually hypnotize someone. The reason for this is that we all have a natural trance mechanism within us.

Stop for a second to realize how often you move in and out of trance states through the day, and let me tell you how this works.

Have you ever been driving your vehicle, perhaps for several miles, and at some point "woke up" and wondered how far you'd gotten on the road? That in-between gap, where you were "lost in your thoughts", clearly illustrates a state of trance.

Similarly, the secret on how to hypnotize someone is to help them get "lost in their thoughts."

Covert hypnosis happens in two steps:

You induce a trance.
You give suggestions to your subject

How to induce a trance

As you begin the process, focus on the goal you want to achieve: captivate the person's unconscious attention.

What does that mean?

Your goal is to focus their full attention on you and your voice. You can achieve this through several means:

Take the other person somewhere where you are by yourselves
Eliminate surrounding distractions
Stand up and/or get closer to them

You want to dominate and captivate their undivided attention.

Once you have their undivided attention, shift your vocal tonality to the most full-bodied tone you're capable of producing. The more pleasant your tone of voice, the easier it will be for them to surrender to it.

Now, put yourself and them on the same page. To accomplish this, I recommend you learn the First Trance system (no longer available). It's a really simple method you will learn in less than 10 minutes that will initiate you to the world of trance. Easy, simple, fun and safe.

These are the three easiest strategies to get the other person on the same page as you. Of course, many more strategies exist. But these two are the street-smart way to get the job done.

At this point, if you can, establish some sort of physical contact. Put your hand on their shoulder or simply touch their arm. Since you'll be the one initiating the contact, you will instantaneously be in a position of power.

At this point, the other person is more than likely in a trance.

How to give suggestions

We use the word "suggestion" in NLP and covert hypnosis because the other person may or may not choose to follow suit with your requests.

However, a more adequate term to describe what you're doing is "instructions."

When you give suggestions, you instruct the other person on what to do, in a step-by-step manner.

You must format these instructions exactly the same way you'd find them in the manual for assembling and electronic device.

For instance, "1. Open the battery compartment. 2. Insert two AA batteries following the drawing on the back of the latch." And so forth.

The most effective way to instruct the other person is to package the instructions inside a story. The following story will reveal to you how to package instructions.

"The other day, the President of the company came to visit our regional offices completely unannounced. Because this happens so rarely, everyone at the company was surprised. You know how sometimes, the unexpected can take you off-guard? And you wouldn't believe the kind of opportunity this opens up.

Anyway, he talked to my secretary and asked to speak to me. My secretary called me on the phone and asked if he could come in. 'Of course,' I replied. He walked in and didn't waste any time. He looked at me straight in the eye and said:

'Good morning Steve. Let me cut to the chase. We've finally figured out how to solve your problem. Here's the solution. We've wasted enough time on this issue in the past. Get it now and solve the problem once and for all. In a year, we'll celebrate this moment at the top of the hill. I trust that you'll get things going.'

Now, when someone high on the food chain gives you permission to go forward, you can just let go and actually do what you've been wanting to do for a long time but kept fumbling around with. So at that point, you just do it.

And it's done."

Read back on the following text and notice where the instructions are. If you have any questions about it, type in a comment below so we can discuss it.

Let's recap...

You need compliance. And you need it now. So you have to know how to use covert hypnosis.

First, induce a trance. You do that by focusing their full attention on you, assuming a full-bodied tone of voice and putting the two of you on the same page.

Second, give them instructions (that's how we call "suggestions" in [masterNLP]). You do that by embedding them into a story.

Now, practice

If you haven't read this page on the importance of practice, make sure you do it now.

Drill 1:

Identify a goal you want someone to achieve or an action you want them to perform.
Write out a story that contains the instructions they must follow to carry out this action.

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