The proof is not in the pudding.
That’s a distortion of the original saying, which stated:
“The proof of the pudding is in the eating.”
That means that you can’t really tell something’s quality until you have direct experience with it.
What does that have to do with NLP?
One word. Calibration.
The lesson is this:
Don’t mind-read until you have calibrated first.
So many times, you’ll feel tempted to “guess” or “assume” what someone else is thinking or feeling based on their body language.
That is a major mistake, young Padawan.
Until you have interacted with that person and confirmed the internal experience that corresponds a particular external expression, ya just don’t know.
If you’ve read my training guide on observation, you know how much I value that skill. It’s #1 in line.
(Incidentally, when I say observation, I mean it in the broader sense of the word. It includes listening, feeling, smelling and tasting. It also includes vestibular perception.)
Second one in line is calibration, learning how to tie internal experience to external expression. It builds on observation.
Once you master that skill, you will thank me for the rest of your life.
But don’t take my word for it. The proof is not in the pudding.
It’s in the eating.
So go practice.