Martin Messier

September 7, 2023

The secret to three Michelin stars in coaching

The wifey and I were watching Chef's Table last night. I'm addicted to that show. I'll watch it over and over again if there's nothing better available.

Some of my favorite episodes:

  • Francis Mallmann
  • Grant Achatz
  • Alex Atala
  • Vladimir Mukhin
  • Rodney Scott

There's a common theme that runs across the life of many of these chefs, and I think it offers a great lesson to coaches and NLPers.

At one point in their career, many of them got fed up with conventional cooking, said "F. it!" and started infusing their cuisine with the edge of their personalities. 



Exploration and provocation...

All of them were reluctant to take that step at first. They worried about what customers would think or say. But all of them got to a breaking point where they couldn't spend another day making dishes the same old way. Something inside of them wanted to burst out.

Eventually, taking their cooking to the edge made them unique and famous.

I propose to you that the exact same applies to your leadership style and coaching.

Learn technique as a way to fully and unapologetically express who you are as a coach — but never as a substitute.

Too frequently, I come across coaches and NLPers who have parked away their true colors in favor of a "sanitized," "spiritualized," "sterilized," "euphemized" version of themselves. 

They censor any feelings of anger. They get "disturbed" instead.

They don't want to get annoyed with pet peeves. They have to "honor" people's unique character traits.

They would never cut anyone out of their life. They want to feel "at one with everything."

I sometimes wonder if these people ever feel horny. Don't think so... They probably feel "tantrically stimulated."

I'm not speaking from judgment here. I used to be that way when I started in this journey. So I'm really laughing at myself and, in the process, giving you permission to dump all of that if they're your aspiration and embrace your nature as a coach.

Don't try to be light if you're intense.

Don't try to be intellectualized if you're raw.

Don't try to be cold if you swim in emotions.

The best thing you can do for your clients is to be you. If they don't resonate with it, fine. It's likely you won't do good work together anyway. There's a better coach for them out there.

The ones that do, though, will transform their lives through their relationship with you. You'll become a trustworthy partner and, in the process, you'll also free them to become themselves.

If coaching is cooking, and you're the chef, NLP is your knife. Learn to use it well so you can serve what you have to offer in all its glory.

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