Martin Messier

September 15, 2023

When the client makes the connection

So, let me tell you about my friend Liz who started working with a coach a few months ago to improve her business skills. 

(Yeah, she wanted to work with me. No, I don't coach personal friends.)

When she first met her coach, she was a bit apprehensive about opening up to someone she barely knew. But after a few sessions, she began to feel more comfortable sharing her goals, concerns, and challenges with her coach.

The coach was patient, attentive, and empathetic towards Liz's situation. He actively listened to her and gave her space to express herself without judgment. He asked probing questions to understand her perspective and helped her identify her strengths and areas of improvement.

Over time, Liz began to trust her coach and appreciate his guidance and feedback. She also noticed that the coach was invested in her success and genuinely cared about her progress.

As the coaching relationship progressed, Liz became more confident in her abilities and started to achieve her goals. But after a few weeks of working with her coach, she hit a roadblock. 

She'd been making steady progress, but suddenly felt like she was stuck and not making any headway.

She didn't want to disappoint her coach or admit that she was struggling, so she kept quiet and tried to figure things out on her own. But the more she tried to push through the obstacle alone, the more frustrated she became.

Eventually, Liz realized she needed to be honest with her coach and share what was going on. She mustered up the courage to admit that she'd hit a wall and was struggling to make progress.

To her surprise, her coach didn't judge her or criticize her for her struggles. Instead, he listened patiently and offered support and guidance.

Together, they worked on a new plan of action that would help Liz overcome the obstacle and continue making progress towards her goals. The coach encouraged her to take a step back, reassess her priorities, and try new approaches to overcome the challenges she was facing.

Through this experience, Liz learned a fundamental lesson: honesty and vulnerability are key aspects of the coaching relationship.

That's why I dedicate an entire section of the upcoming edition of NLP Insiders to how you can shrink TTV — Time to Vulnerability — in your coaching relationships.

By using a few simple tools, you'll notice your clients open up to you much sooner. This will help you eliminate drag in your coaching and engineer breakthroughs much faster for your clients.

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