Note: This is an archive of an email from the release series of The Emotion Engine (Early Adopter Edition).

This is the first email in a series that I will be sending your way this week. I’m thrilled.

95% of this series will be world-class education that will leave you better off, even if you choose not to enroll in TEE.

Okay, let’s start this fiesta off with a reframe.

Whether something is valuable or not is subjective.

To help make sense of this idea, I’m going to "steal" a quote that I love from one of my mentors: "Subjective utility is more important than objective reality."

The meaning behind this statement is that objective reality either doesn’t exist or doesn’t matter (this is especially true in our NLP world).

The notion of subjective utility expresses that a result or outcome is viewed as positive based on your point of view. It doesn’t matter if something is "true" with a capital "T," so long as it works.

This is one of the capital tenets of NLP — and I’ve absorbed it as a capital tenet of my life.

The true test of value of a model or a map is not whether it’s a perfect reflection of reality. It’s whether it enables you to get to where you want to go.


For me, having five specific questions about my client allows me to create interventions on the fly. This is my subjective utility because it works for me. Every. Single. Time.

But the "reality" of the majority of people and influences in our NLP world, see things very differently.

The point is: it’s irrelevant whose reality is true with a capital "T" or correct with a capital "C." What I do, produces a far better result FOR ME and my clients.

This will be the theme of this launch-series for TEE.

In the end, it’s my desire that your "subjective utility" will shift, like the tectonic plates that underpin the earth pieces we call continents.

Think about this as you peruse and reflect on these emails each day.

With that said, let's begin.

So let me ask you this...

What business is the band KISS in?

Seems like a simple question — it’s in the music business, right? The concerts and albums kind of give it away.

Sure. Getting people to sing along in arenas is where they make their money. Or is it?

Over their career, KISS made more money selling merchandise than they ever did touring.

Let that sink in for a moment.

In the past 15 years alone, KISS has sold more than a half billion dollars in merchandise. That’s more than the gross revenue of their career total of slightly over $300 million.

Or, in simpler terms, most of KISS’s profits came from licensing, not performing music.

Why is this important or relevant?

Because it clearly demonstrates the power of branding, which is nothing more than orchestrating and anchoring, aka managing, emotions — which is exactly what high performance leaders like Steve Jobs and Richard Branson do.

KISS does that musically — leading a massive group of people to euphoria — whereas Steve Jobs did it with product launches and Branson does it with an outstanding service experience.

Did Steve Jobs lead a tech company? Yes.

Does Richard Branson own a massive, multinational conglomerate of companies? Absolutely.

Is KISS a band? Of course.

But… the business they’re all in is eliciting and managing emotions.

Or, to use the technical term in Neurolinguistic Programming, eliciting and managing states.

NLP offers two valuable distinctions:

  1. A step-by-step, unique methodology we can use to absorb and distill the behavioral patterns of people who produce outstanding results, and
  2. A unique code — or notation language — we can use to record and transmit these patterns.

This is important because it gives us as leaders a framework to clearly examine, map and manage emotion as the make-or-break component of influence — whether it be in the context of selling to our customers, coaching our clients, leading our employees or parenting our children.

Then, as we go about our day-to-day, we can structure our communication with ourselves — and towards those around us — with much more accuracy and adjust it to obtain the ideal emotional outcome for the performance needs at hand, or the environment we’re trying to create.

That’s the power of emotion management.

Tomorrow I’m going to answer a question I’m asked a lot — where does emotion begin?

Stay tuned, and think about this.

If you have questions, or if you wanna share an insight you had, head to the comments section of our The Emotion Engine page here.

Cheering for you,


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