Covert Influence Part Deux
Yesterday I just whet your appetite.
Today I want to go a little deeper inside the notion of influence and persuasion.
More specifically, I want you to feel how persuasion actually happens much less in the words that you use than you might think.
You have been persuaded countless times in your life without understanding how it happened.
You also have been persuaded countless times by people who weren’t trained in persuasion.
Pause for a second and make sense out of the last two sentences you just read.
Especially the last one.
“[…] weren’t trained in persuasion.”
They were not trained.
As such, they were not using a technique.
How could they?
However, they used, albeit intuitively, a particular pattern that persuaded you.
This is critically important in understanding modeling in NLP.
You’re not looking for techniques. You’re always looking for patterns.
You always asking: “What just happened here?”
More importantly: “What just happened (naturally) here?”
You want to know what’s going on without people being aware of it, and without people really “intending” it.
Of course, if someone persuaded you without knowing what they were doing, they definitely intended to get compliance from you.
But they probably didn’t intend to use a specific technique to elicit a specific reaction.
What they did was not the product of design.
Keep that in mind. Always.
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Getting back to our ducks…
If persuasion doesn’t happen so much in words, where does it happen primarily?
Intonation conveys the emotion that, when in rapport, elicits the right state in which the gateway of influence pops open.
Watch this 3:45 bit by George Carlin.
Between 2:30 and 3:00, pay attention to the intonation he brings into the communication.
Try saying those exact same words with a flat voice.
No effect whatsoever.
The intonation leans the message towards a particular meaning, which in turn elicits a specific state.
Without that intonation, forget the state.
In our next message, more on that.