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What you’re about to read is one of the most powerful strategies for you to master NLP beyond the rational level.
You see, 90% of new students try to learn NLP rationally.
The little exercise you are about to engage in will get you to learn NLP irrationally.
And what you will do is this.
Within the context of your family, you will express yourself entirely non-verbally during the course of two days.
Yeah, you heard me right.
You will have to express your feelings, your desires and other communications using analog channels: making sounds, using gestures, facial expressions and so on.
The key here is to knock you out of the constant use of digital words, which usually tend to shut down our senses and prevent us from really taking in the rich contextual clues present in every communication.
If you’re pissed, make a lot of growling noises. Express your rage in that way. Only one rule: no words.
How can you express your caring to your kids without words? What sounds would you make?
How will you tell your spouse or significant other that they are the most important part of your life?
Hint: Welcome to the world of pattern interrupts! If you think that weird questions do a great job for interrupting patterns, wait until you experience this.
I routinely leverage this particular exercise in my own family to flex my analog muscles. It’s usually great fun for everyone. Do it too.
And if you want the fast route to the know-nothing, inner silence state, use the Mental Spa.
One of our readers, Steven, send me an email after reading the dailyNLP training guide.
After recounting his results from the exercises, he added:
Any more tips you could give me would be greatly appreciated. Especially anything more specific about changes in peoples face signals to look for. In training you are told to look for these changes but not a whole lot of effort is put into teaching you what these changes are.
As I thought you would benefit from the reply, I decided to post it here.
The first tip is very simple: just watch for changes. Any change.
The key here is your peripheral vision. As you know — or don’t — your peripheral vision (or hearing) is the tool of choice to detect change. Have you ever picked up on subtle movements in your work environment just from “the corner of your eye?” There’s your peripheral vision at work.
Once you’re able to detect change, you can begin to assign “meaning” to it. That is, to associate those cues to changes in internal states.
Whenever my wife is making lists in her head, she moves her eyes in a certain way. Since I once asked her what she was thinking when that cue manifested itself, I now know that that external cue is linked to making lists in her mind.
Whenever she’s calculating numbers, she moves her mouth in a specific way. After asking her, I knew exactly what that external signal was associated to internally.
So the two-step training mechanism goes as follows:
If you have any questions about this process, post them in the comments and I’ll be happy to discuss it further with you.
Really, it’s a piece of cake to excel at NLP.
There is NLP info ALL OVER the web. If can’t find anything anywhere, for whatever reason, check out Robert Dilts’s Encyclopedia of Systemic NLP. Here’s how you become an ace in no time.
1. Pick one technique or one model.
2. Spend the entire following day applying that technique out in the real world.
3. Lather, rinse and repeat. Go back to step one with another technique.
For example, let’s take pacing — which you need for rapport.
Today, as you go out into the world, focus on pacing as much as you can. Pace people’s walk, people’s speech tempo, people’s words, people’s rep systems, everything.
Not only will you have an outstanding day but you’ll be light years ahead of any other NLP student out there.
Oh, and do yourself a favor… Subscribe to dailyNLP to avoid wasting your time.
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Pundits would have you believe that you have to be an extremely sophisticated Practitioner to use NLP techniques in sales.
For one, just leveraging the Number One NLP Skill You Must Master will take you about 90% of the way — in fact, Richard Bandler has said so himself.
Other than that, the 80/20 rules mostly applies. 20% of your skills will produce 80% of the result.
Check out this post on applying NLP in sales. I think the author did a good job of pointing out some easy and highly effective skills you can leverage during the sales process.
Easy. Think easy and fast. There’s a lot of NLP showmanship going around. Doesn’t mean it’s the most effective.
There are also lots of “martial arts” movie that display spectacular and elegant moves. Those moves will lose in a street fight every time.
Think underground. Think simple. Think effective.
You can learn and master NLP fast.
You might have seen this already. In fact, you’ve probably seen it. But run a little analysis on it from an NLP perspective and notice what you can learn from what’s going on in this video.
PS: I’ll be back to full-fledged posting mode soon.